Your most valuable resource
Itās human to overvalue short-term payoffs. Whether buying a fancy car instead of saving (have you seen the R1T?), choosing a concert over a presentation, or favoring salary over learning opportunities. Overvaluing the short-term can be pretty obvious (buying something when you should save) or tough to parse (career, family, and financial decisions).
Iām not here to preach whatās right or even say that you should value long-term decisions (hey, fun is important, too), but I am here to say there is one form of investing in your future you shouldnāt overlook: relationships.
The Short-term Trap
For most of my career, Iāve fallen victim to short-term thinking, but not in the way you might expect. I'm generally frugal, know my priorities, and tend to execute well (though I stumble, as we all do).
My errors are often on a life-scale.
See, Iāve never really taken a step back and thought about the best decision for 2030 Matt, or even 2035 Matt, for that matter. Iāve always been concerned with ānext yearā Matt.
I know that I enjoy work and my primary motivator is to do more of what I enjoy and less of what I donāt, while contributing to something meaningful and improving myself.
Sounds good, right?
After a recent negative career experience, I was forced to evaluate my trajectoryāwhere I am and where Iād like to be. This exercise made me reflect on whatās important to me and whatās been beneficial thus farā¦ What I enjoy, what Iām good at, and how I can contribute to something bigger than myself.
Through that process, one thing became glaringly obvious: I am simultaneously incredibly lucky & terribly lacking in the same department, relationships.
As part of my short-term thinking, I never prioritized building a community or staying in the same place. For years, I never went out of my way to meet people. This wasn't out of malice or solitude, but what I valued: improving myself and doing the best work possible.
I would skip social events to learn about databases, clear my nights to learn Python & SQL, and turn in early to be at the gym before work (back when every day was an office day). That drive was valuable technically, but it didnāt lead to the success I was after. Rather, it led to a very lonely existence where I constantly questioned if I was doing the right things.
Since COVID, Iāve felt an incredible drive to engage the community at large, something thatās corroborated by the results of my Big Five Personality Test.
It wasnāt until I started sharing what I learned, talking to people, and creating content that I started to see really positive signals, but more on that later.
The Best Work Youāll Do
Over the past four (five?) years, Iāve come to realize that the best work is achieved with the help of others. To me, the idea of a āsolopreneurā seems boring, limiting, and lonely. I believe shared experiences transcend the self and last a lifetime.
In the past, Iāve made ostensibly selfish decisions to pursue exciting opportunities. If I hit a block, Iād quit and look elsewhere. I missed out on some friendships and perhaps some valuable opportunities to learn conflict resolution.
In my personal life, Iād move wherever I thought I had the best chance of finding "that thing," with little regard for long-term friendships or meaningful relationships. Sometimes, Iād switch up my life just to start fresh or get away from a feeling of being ātrapped.ā
Instead of focusing on myself, I now focus on others: where can I surround myself with the best and brightest? What does it take to become a part of a community? To give back? How can I be of service to others?
Instead of āleveling up,ā I focus on learning that drives valueāwhat can I learn to be of most use? Are there topics that would help my team? The community?
To move closer to what Iām after, Iāve taken steps that reflect my core beliefs: moving across the US to the Bay to pursue in-person opportunities, hosting data events in the South Bay, sharing what Iāve learned through courses, blog posts, and books, & rearranging my life to pursue meaningful connection and partnership.
Some things have worked and a few blew up in my face, but in the end, Iām incredibly happy with the results, because Iāve seen inklings of connection & meaning where I previously saw struggle & frustration.
The Power of Relationships
Relationships stand the test of time and function as a safety netāyour reputation is far more important than your income.
If your company fails or you're laid off, faith in your abilities and a good network will see you through. There are very few things Iām certain of, but I wholeheartedly believe that good people who think critically and work hard will always be in demand.
Most things can disappear overnight: you might open your email to a termination notice or wake up to find an LLM doing something eerily similar to your jobāa sight that makes me question five years of writing SQLā¦ Far fewer things are certain and stable than we think.
Of course, meeting people isnāt about cold logic, long-term plans, or ānetworkingāā¦ Life becomes more enjoyable, fun, and engaging when you prioritize opportunities to collaborate and try new things.
That doesn't mean settling for a low salary or making life unnecessarily difficult, but it does mean being open to relocation, taking risks, and embracing failure.
I fell flat on my face in my last two career decisions. That can be a tough fact to embraceā¦. but Iāve never been more excited about the future. The choice between failure and not making an attempt is an easy one.
āBetter to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all.ā
People
We have a natural inclination to rely on those we trustāa process mirrored in relationship-buildingāeven when itās not the best idea. There are many, many things AI and the internet will answer better than 99% of humans, but there are also many things they will not.
When youāre looking for a new restaurant, whatās the first thing you do? Open up Google? Ask ChatGPT? Or do you ask your friend Emily, who has really good taste and knows the local food scene?
Questions like these are valuable for a night out on the town, but invaluable for career decisions. Where do I head from here? Whatās the most valuable thing for me to be doing right now? What little-known industry info can give me an edge?
By nurturing a circle of trusted peers, we transcend the limitations of inaccessible information. Making the wrong career decision can set you back years, but having mentors can circumvent your (my) dumb mistakes, saving all that time and more.
How can you do that? Engaging in activities you love fosters appreciation and often leads to meaningful interactions and collaborations. Over time, these efforts can lead to serendipitous encounters with interesting individuals. Youāll notice a prerequisite is knowing what you love.
So, in that order: find what you love, do it lots, and engage with others who love it, too. While the journey can be slow & frustrating, the eventual outcome can be incredibly rewarding.
Wrap
That might be a bit long-winded, but if thereās one thing Iāve learned in the past half-decade, itās that thereās so much opportunity out there. I say this with full convictionānever limit yourself and always shoot higher than you think possible.
To sum it up:
- Invest in relationships and in-person activity, even if it means going somewhere new or giving up short-term luxuries.
- Think beyond yourself to the firm, community, or industry youāre drawn to. That doesnāt mean settling for less, but it might mean taking one step back to take two forward.
- Find your passion and engage with those who share it.
Things are good in some places and bad in others. If you look hard enough, I can guarantee youāll find something thatās a good fit. We can blame the game and decry the world as unfair or we can learn how to play it and do our best.
Compassion and empathy are important traits. Thereās a lot of crazy stuff out there and stuff happens. Iāve been incredibly lucky in my career, but Iāve also worked pretty damn hard. At the end of the day, your journey is just thatāyours. The best time to get started was yesterday, the second best time is right now.